He Comforts Me

I have been writing a book. It is based off Psalm 23 and the faithfulness of God through my journey. He is My Shepherd so this writing was extra special when this happened in May of this year.  As I break for a bit please know each one of you have continued to be part of this story. I am thankful for all the encouragement as I continue to write and share of His faithfulness. 

He Comforts Me

“Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for you are with me; your rod and staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

Our church has an opportunity each month to have a prayer and worship night and this particular night I went looking for an answer from the Lord. That day was a hard day one that had followed trips to doctors offices to find out why I kept getting an infection. I sat outside talking with Him still in disbelief to have the Lord gently remind me to allow that shepherding He had been doing within my life. He has been teaching me daily. I was really good until that daily once again became a reminder that even the daily things are things that come unexpected and my heart and mind will forget in the middle of that it can be difficult to remember to trust Him. Exhausted from all the ups and downs I knew I could come out and worship Him that night.  I came in with more than just the health stuff; it was the stuff I have prayed for that hasn’t been answered. I came and He once again reminded me, “I AM the Shepherd.”

I sat in a room with other people to begin and the leader said two words and I felt myself break down. All she said was Psalm 23 and immediately I felt my Shepherd draw close to me. That afternoon as I sat in that disbelief of what had been occurring again I told God, “Ok I need to hear that word tonight. Shepherd.” Can I hear that word Shepherd?” At that moment right from the beginning was the reminder of how God speaks directly into our hearts, circumstances, and feelings. See that is the very thing He was speaking to my heart about in all this. Give it all to me. Show them My heart. 

As those words were spoken I lowered my head and started crying like a baby. My husband gently touched my back to feel this release of tears not being able to stop them. I am not one to show this kind of emotion and this was the second time today I found myself in that place. Walking out of the doctor's office to get the next steps in my plan left me putting on my sunglasses to walk out so no one could see me. God feels our hurts. “You yourself have recorded my wanderings. You put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?” Psalm 56:8

I love the Psalms because in them we can find all the feelings we don’t really want to talk about. The ones we want to push away can be found in a way that can resonate in us and clarify all those feelings to release them back to God. That is what I was doing. That word Shepherd has been one that hasn’t escaped my mind. Even as that Scripture was read I could picture all those things. The twists and turns the highs and lows of living a life allowing Him to be that Shepherd. As I left that time I went to go get prayer and the very person who delivered that word met me to pray over me. I was coming in for a prayer for healing of infection and my Shepherd was meeting me to once again remind me, “I see you and I am with you, stay close.” 

That comfort can’t be explained. I have always been a very independent person so allowing others in is hard for me. Allowing others to see us in our struggles can be the very thing that draws them closer to God. Vulnerability is another choice which I am learning if I give Him my everything that too will be included in that. 

It was one thing to write about it and do it with the Lord but another thing to allow the Lord to do that through me. That is what I was sitting with that night as I cried and couldn’t raise my head up. God was asking me to invite him into what I didn’t want to show others.  

Our feelings matter to God. He desires we would bring those to Him so He can comfort us in a way of drawing us close to know Him. God listens to us as we pour out our hearts to Him and welcomes in our sorrow. The very heart of Jesus was one that was full of compassion. His heart is for us.

I knew what the Lord was showing me that night was something I have fought for many years. I shared with the leader what had been revealed and she began to pray over me and she asked me, “Are you ready to invite the Lord into that vulnerability?” I hesitated and then told her yes as she began to pray. Once again the tears began to fall and something that was really foreign I knew was the exact posture the Lord was asking from me. Giving it all so I could show God's heart. She then reminded me when those times came to picture My Shepherd right next to me. He comforts me. Leaning into the arms of my Father and knowing He is with me.

Vulnerability allows His Heart to lead. So how could you allow Jesus to continue to reveal his heart for others?

 

The Story Isn't Over Yet

  The Story Isn’t Over Yet

Where do you need to be reminded of the faithfulness of God? 

 Looking back can remind me that God has been faithful though all of it. This time last year I wasn’t sure what that next step would be after retiring as a lead teacher. If I close my eyes I can picture myself at circle time singing, “Jesus Loves Me” and see those little faces light up at the mention of His name. To this past year still being with preschoolers at a slower pace and fewer hours and still being able love and encourage them. So much has changed in the time of a five year span and even as my healing hasn’t come yet I know that because of that I have learned more than I ever could have if it wasn’t for that sudden change. 

My challenges are still present and the things I feel a passion to do will remind my body that I am not healed. Just yesterday I was standing on a playground with the kids swirling around me feeling that familiar fatigue I thought, “Lord, you could just heal me and we could be done with all of this.” Maybe that is the awareness God has given me that continues to turn my mind back to the reminder knowing it is because of what I have been given I know that I can’t depend on myself. His faithfulness will never leave me.

It was a year after that diagnosis I started to write and share what God was doing. Even as I knew He was worth trusting it would be in that year I would learn what that meant to take Scripture and start allowing that to transform my understanding. To begin to invite God into all of it not holding back. A year of journaling with the Lord taught me what that meant to take verses and begin praying them back over me. 

I found a journal from October 2021 a couple months after that unforeseen change and the entry from Psalm 121:1 read. “I lift my eyes toward the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.” I wrote, “You are always on alert. You constantly watch over me. You are such a personal God. You care for every need. Lord, remind me of that when I physically stumble walking.” Even four years later that reminder of that drop foot that can come into play is the reminder that He is faithful. 

That is the wildest part as I look back. What God has made me into can’t be explained. Those were words I had felt the Lord say to my heart right after that diagnosis. When things looked like the end it was, “We have only begun.” Looking back I knew because God had been faithful when I wanted nothing to do with him so that meant he wasn’t going to just stop being faithful now.

The Maker of heaven and earth who chooses us to make us more like Jesus. His faithfulness for us in it, through it, and because of it. Our stories can tell of God’s faithfulness. 

 

So where can you look back at His faithfulness to see His faithfulness?  

Come Alive

 

 Come Alive

“For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be rendered powerless so that we may no longer be enslaved to sin, since a person who has died is freed from sin.” Romans 6: 6-7

Paul is reminding them they no longer were dominated by sin; the life they now live is lived to die to themselves to become more like Christ. Sin no longer has a grip on me but it will always play a part in how God desires to show him complete rule and reign in my life. 

As I was doing a quick study today on a proposed website to help parents find information about what they might be dealing with I was asked questions that began to turn things over in my mind. They were trying to get at the root of what I saw and how I would find the information I was looking at if I was a parent in that situation. The information that I clicked would take me further into more available options. Did I find what I was looking for? What made me choose that? 

What are you looking for? If I didn’t write and share one more thing with you I would love to pull up a chair and ask you that question. What are you looking for?

As the questions were asked it caused me to think of all the other places we go for answers to our questions. I started thinking about how when I got my diagnosis and looking for someone who could relate. Someone that was going through the same thing of being newly diagnosed and all I could find on the internet was fear. It wasn’t long before I turned all that off and began to pray, “Lord lead me to some women that are going through this.” It was shortly after that I found some and those women I still stay in contact with almost five years later.  It was at the beginning of that journey God was showing me I was going to come alive in a way I couldn’t have imagined. I had to die thinking I could rule myself and this disease to see the power of Him meeting me in all of it. 

So what could happening now in your life that God could showing you He is all you need? 

Father,

It doesn’t make sense how what we are given even when it is hard can show us good things. Struggles, unknowns, sicknesses, things that we keep praying for are the things that you continue to work in. That is the reason you gave us your Spirit to guide us and be with us. We can know you are in it because we can know you Jesus. So bring to mind those things we continue to hold onto. It is in the surrender that you come in and meet us. Thank you King Jesus' rule and reign in our hearts and minds.

Amen

Love Lived Out

 

 Love Lived Out 

“Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I was sitting with some women I used to do jail ministry with and they were sharing all the places they were serving. One spoke about the streets of Dayton and another spoke of shelter for women. Serving the least of these and in that seeing and experiencing the love is what draws them back those places. Not once has God taken His eyes off those women in the streets or shelter. How do these ladies continue to go in and do what God is calling them to do even after the time serving them leaves them restless and unable to sleep? Jesus loves them and this they know.

Jesus is the love of God made available through them. It is an extension that doesn’t make sense. It is the Living Word that has permeated their heart and mind. They love because He first loved them. That is the very reason we love.

As we sat my friend told a story that made you want to turn away and close your ears. Things that she has seen that will keep her up at night after spending time serving women who feel forgotten. She knows going to those places and that night leaves her restless without sleep. Her heart is still praying even as she is not there her thoughts are fixed upon those women. She loses sleep but never once does the Father take His eyes off of her. Or those things that she has seen. He never takes His off of those who feel forgotten.

I heard recently, “Sometimes purpose is simply showing up with faith, compassion, and a willing heart. That struck me in a way of remembrance that almost jumped started my heart again. I will get in these places that wrestle with God of wanting to believe and wanting to know how things turn out it isn’t mine to know. Like those ladies that continue to go out and serve in a way of showing up they might never see anything come from that. Or as one story was shared of a life that was changed they might. We never know what God will do with those opportunities to serve people showing them His heart. I must keep showing up with faith that God can move and display His compassionate and willing heart to keep going.

Not self seeking but seeking those He puts in our path. Patient because of the patience He has for us when we forget. Not what I want but His plans for me.

That love that is seen in us that believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Loved lived out because of our lives in Christ. Jesus loves us this we know. We can BE His love lived out for this world.

My Stronghold

 

My Stronghold

“I am certain that I will see the LORD’s goodness in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart be courageous. Wait for the LORD.” Psalm 27: 13-14

What are you waiting on the Lord to do?

For the first time today I wrote in my Bible what has been my prayer for a long time now. Something I have prayed for and shared with God so many times but this time right now next to this verse. Here it is Lord.

I love the Bible for so many reasons but the biggest is how I can see the faithfulness of God in the things that don’t make sense. David again was in this heart's remembrance even as he was surrounded by enemies. The LORD is my light and salvation. The LORD is my stronghold of my life. My heart will not be afraid. His relationship with God that caused his heart to remember. It is all about my relationship with God.

Because I know my heart and flesh fail me every single day. Faith is knowing that despite what my eyes see and my heart may feel, God is working on my behalf. He was working on David’s behalf in the middle of it all. 

Being certain of seeing His goodness in the waiting. His goodness and faithfulness follows me all the days of my life. 

What are those things that don’t seem like they will ever change? Those things you see, feel, and experience in your life?

As a friend reminded me today, “He is standing with us and we need that constant reminder of His Word to remind us. “Show me your way, LORD and lead me on a level path.” Tell Him what is on your heart.

Live Fully Where You Are

 

 Live Fully Where You Are

"What the law could not do since it was weakened by the flesh, God did. He condemned sin in the flesh by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh as a sin offering in order that the law’s requirement would be fulfilled in us who do not walk according the flesh but according to the Spirit. Romans 8: 3-4

The law could never save us completely. God had to act personally on our behalf to break sins' power and Jesus was that rescue plan. For a long time I thought just obeying was the way to stay good with God. It was never about me trying to better it was learning that power that is made available to move my heart towards obedience is the Spirit that sets me free from my will. My flesh will always choose the opposite but the life of Christ in me can move in a direction that fulfills my life. It can set my mind on things above and not the earthly things. 

Sometimes I hear verses to nod in agreement but sometimes that very verse is the one that will speak to my heart and mind in a way that settles something so deep inside of me everything is calmed. Just the other night fear and anxiety started playing in my mind. This of course was after spending time with my small group discussing the lies we hear. In bed and drifting off to wake up and be reminded that fear never left. And that prayer I prayed wouldn't move it. So I just laid there and talked to God about it. "Here is what I am thinking about but I know that you are in control." But that night I pictured something different. I pictured my Shepherd close to me and removing everything that didn’t have a place in my life. I started to dwell on His Goodness and Faithfulness following me and kicking aside all the things that don’t belong. His resurrection power made available to me to put to death those thoughts that haunt me. And praise the Lord sleep came again that night. Father, help me remember that when it happens next time. 

That resurrecting power is available every single day we rise. I used to think it was a one time thing. I can receive a new heart and a new mind each day. “God create in me a clean heart and a renew a steadfast spirit within me.” I get to know my purpose is in Jesus alone and wherever he has placed me is the place where he desires to work. That is living fully where He is. Resting in His Goodness and Faithfulness knowing He is with me. 

So what would happen if you believed that Goodness and Faithfulness was following you?

 

Peace of God

 

Peace of God

 “Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:5-7

Paul loved his community. It is crazy how someone despised people became the mouth piece of the gospel of Jesus unto the nations. I love Paul for so many reasons but probably the biggest is where he came from. The Bible says, he became a chosen instrument to take the name of Jesus to Gentiles, kings, and Israelites. God knew what he would become. 

Rejoicing is a decision not a feeling. The more I recognize my feelings the more I can turn that over. Shame. Guilt. Fear. When I recognize that comfort I can recognize that I can begin to look to Jesus to draw me into his understanding. The Lord is near and knows our concerns and wants us to come to Him in all of it.  I live in a world that will try and gain that comfort everywhere. I see this everywhere I turn. What will come at us has to be met in us. It is unexplainable how we can know and feel the comfort in the arms of our Father. But that is the very reason there is no going back to the other way. I wonder if that was what Paul thought. It is because he experienced the really hard unexplainable things. He got an up front seat to see how the power of the Living God worked in him. I can do the same. 

I used to think if I had enough will not to worry that would fix things. Just don’t think about it and push it away. Then guilt would follow because of my forgetting and not being able to push that thought away. Don’t get me wrong I have conquered this and won’t because that worry will still creep in but now it is more recognizable because I know the voice who calms my fears. That is the very person I will run to when they come when I can recognize the spiral of those thoughts and where they are dragging me into. That is what worry does. It can plant things within my heart and mind that will cause me to forget. I don’t have to worry because I have learned that God is faithful. NO matter what. 

I think that is my favorite part of being a part of a community of other people who follow Jesus. Encouraging one another in Spirit and Truth. Knowing together that His faithfulness increases our faithfulness together.

Call To Mind

 Call to Mind

“Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” James 2-4

Paul had every reason to give up but he kept going.  He knew that in what he lacked he would be met. He knew in his trials something greater was growing.  It wasn’t something on his own, it was the Holy Spirit transforming his heart and mind to know that in his life there would always be struggles, but in rejoicing he could rest in the promise that Jesus was right there beside him.

I have shared before that walking will always be that reminder of something I will have to work on to build endurance. Even before starting to share writings I was working on a 5k that I shared with everyone. I remember that first goal was to walk to a stop sign without stopping. From there it was building this endurance to do that 5k non stop. And on that day in the heat of summer God gave me that endurance to finish and cross the line. 

I was walking into our church last night to go to a worship and prayer night and a man asked me if I hurt my leg. He thought I was limping and I responded, “No, that is just MS.” In the span of almost five years I don’t even recognize that struggle I am showing. Sometimes I do but I didn’t last night. 

It is that time again where I am preparing myself to go to Middle School camp and walk around the campus. As I was walking this morning I passed a neighbor and looked in his garage to see on his wall a sign that said, “Lift hard and pray hard.” No doubt he was talking about his weights but as I walked that leg that tends to cause me problems became heavier. How many times do those trials feel heavier? 

God never once told me to rejoice in the circumstances He has given me. But in the time of five years He has taught me more about how those struggles have caused my heart and mind to lean in closer to Him. He has taught me on my own that I am a mess. He has taught me if I don’t invite Him in to walk beside me I won’t be strengthened. As a friend said, “Leaning aggressively into redirection.” Body, mind, heart, and will. His Spirit guiding me all the way. “Father, you word tells me you counsel me even at night when my heart troubles me. Guide me because I know you are at my right hand. I will not be shaken.” 

What various trials are you being tested in? 

Call to mind where He has seen you through trials. What if you invited Him in to sit with you and recall those times?

 

Prime Influencer

 

 Prime Influencer

I had another opportunity to do an interview to make some extra cash. This one was done by AI. It was also about AI. I qualified because of how I use Artificial Intelligence sometimes. I know living in 2026 that I need to be aware of these things but also love how they can be used as a tool. But when the question asked if I trusted AI the answer was no. Even as I have used it to write I told that AI interviewer, “My Source is the Bible that is what I will go to before anything else. He is my Source. 

“But Jesus has now obtained a superior ministry, and to that degree he is the mediator of a better covenant, which has been established on better promise.” Hebrews 8:6

Hebrews has been a book I studied but today again those words of superior ministry were jumping off the page. The writer is reminding them to not go back to their former way of thinking but instead remember that what was promised was permanently set up through the life of Christ. God’s plan was always for Jesus to be the rescue plan. Rescuing me from thinking I have to do things on my own but instead learning the Holy Spirit in me is the thing that will direct my thoughts and actions. Jesus is my Prime Influencer if I continue to follow him. 

I live in a world that will constantly tell me to go to other things. As I interviewed that word “trust” kept playing within my mind as those questions were asked. It had me reflect back on how fast we keep moving in this direction of wanting more. This one was asking me about all the different AI’s and I was only familiar with a couple. I can remember when there weren't cell phones. Even thinking about that is that word “influencer” that wasn’t around. Not in the way it is today at least. That word “influencer” is part of our vocabulary. And if I am not careful that will start influencing the way I view everything. His Word is the only thing that will keep me grounded. 

I can’t complete myself and no one can tell me what completes me. If I look to any other source I will never be satisfied. The only thing that will give me the more I am seeking is more of Him. More of His guidance, leading, following. All the way my Savior leads me..

Father,

Influence our hearts and minds to know you more. Judge our thoughts and intentions of our heart. Jesus, you learned obedience from your Father. You became perfected and the source of our eternal salvation. Standing ground together. Making you first in all we do and say King Jesus. Amen

Father of Mercy

  Father of Mercy

“I will bless the LORD who counsels me even at night when my thoughts trouble me. I always let the LORD guide me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16: 7-8

Shame will come at me from nowhere. It sometimes is like it is something waiting in the corner of my mind that waits for me to take the bait. That one thought that is unchecked can begin to play that familiar feeling. Even as I know that God will counsel me in that it is that continual reminder to keep moving forward even in those thoughts. It isn’t the same thing as before when shame would cause me to hide and bury it to stop me and paralyze me. And if this is you let me tell you shame will always attempt to hold you down in lies until it is brought into the Light. For me it can come as, “look at you and they are looking at you” type of thought that will attempt to trip me up at times. God knows it but it is allowing what is hidden within my mind to begin to come out of my lips and let the Lord counsel me with His truth. 

I wonder what David felt like when he was wrapped with the reality that what he was doing wasn’t working. That heaviness of shame held me down for years. The thinking that what I was doing wasn’t working but not knowing that hiding away was keeping me in the dark. His heart for us never changes even in the dark He is there. But like David I had to recognize that before realizing shame didn’t have to have a hold on me. How God desired to take what I was holding so close to me and wearing everyday and make me understand that my choices didn’t define my future. That is what stopped me from coming back to that thought of God never being able to meet me in my mess. It is the opposite. He is always ready to meet us in all of it. If we are ready for that change.

What if I was like David? Asking from that place that troubles me. Lord show me where I have allowed shame to creep back in. I trust in you alone. You will keep me steady. I will not be shaken. Shame is a false god instructing me. Help me believe like David that you hold my future.  

Tell Him what is laying on your heart. He is listening. What would you say to shame?

He Is For You

  He Is For You

“I am the vine, you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me.” John 15:5

I am learning to crotchet. I never thought I would be someone who would be interested in this. Sure it was something I heard other older women did and anticipated that time in my life when maybe I could learn to do this. It seemed like such a beautiful thing to see that woman with her bag of yarn sitting quietly and taking her crochet needle and weaving together something. I always pictured a blanket and how one day I could learn to do this. Since this time I have found myself with books, yarn, needle, and anticipation to create something but I find myself making those patterns to pull that yarn back apart and start again. Recently I stepped up my game and went to a craft store and purchased some colorful yarn. Now my stitches jump out in this way that even my husband commented, “Wow they are much closer together you have come a long way.” My sister was one to get me started when I went to visit. She has given me scarfs, and I have seen blankets that she has made and even held onto one that I look at as a reminder of all that stitch work and how maybe one day I could produce something as beautiful as she has created. 

That one string turns into a beautiful masterpiece but apart from that there is no creation. I had to start with that one string of yarn and it can become something to be worn, covered with, or something we can carry things in. The possibilities are unlimited if I keep going. The same is true of my life in Christ. 

Maybe the reason for the love of crocheting is the ability to sit still and use my hands. I find myself less picking up my phone and more reaching for that possible project these days. That desire to go back and try again even as what I create in reality will probably be a long way off. No self help book or video will teach me it will be only building that muscle memory and to keep going. So why do I forget that when it comes to those spiritual things I haven’t seen transformed yet. Because I forget. 

Father continue to remind me that you are for us. Your faithful love to a thousand generations. Help me remain in you Jesus. 

How is He working and weaving that truth within your heart to remember that He is for you?