Everywhere I Go

  Everywhere I Go

“During his earthly life, he offered prayers and appeals with loud cries and tears who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Although he was the Son, he learned obedience from what he suffered.” Hebrews 5:7-8

Jesus experienced suffering because of his obedience. He perfectly obeyed and in his suffering we too can know what we experience is felt because of the compassion of God. God stepped down into flesh to show us He is with us. Jesus learned obedience so that means I will also have to learn obedience.

I was recently given a gift for my birthday that listed fifty things that reminded me of the love I had for the person that gave it to me. Fifty ways I had shown love and some listed I had forgotten about but things they hadn’t. It got me thinking about making a list of how God has shown up in those fifty years of my life. His love for me hasn’t changed but my willingness to allow it all has. It is because I know God loves me and is faithful that Jesus became my motivation is all I say and do. Moving with Jesus and carrying him wherever I go. 

I love the book of Hebrews because it is a reminder to me not to go back to my old ways of thinking but remembering who I am in Christ. It reminds me to hold fast to saving grace and remember that on my own I am nothing. Anchoring my heart in a way of remembrance to hold fast to gospel Truth.  

I have found I have a resistance to obedience. Learning to depend on God alone is a process of remembering who I am Christ and what has been given to me. I do this by spending time in His word that teaches me my relationship with God isn’t dependent on me but on the authority of God IN the Word of God. 

The community that has been built around me is because I have let others in on it all. The enemy of my mind wanted me to isolate and go alone but knowing God was faithful reminded me that he would always be with me. It is because of what I have been given that reminds me to depend on God alone. My strength and unwavering faith is because God’s faithfulness has increased my faithfulness in and through others walking alongside me. Because Jesus suffered we can walk together in suffering knowing we don’t walk alone. So where has God met you everywhere you have been? 

Shift in Perspective

   Shift in Perspective

“When Jesus heard this, he told them. “It is not those who are well who need a doctor, but those who are sick. I didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17

Jesus is addressing scribes and the Pharisees when they saw him eating with tax collectors and sinners. They are asking how Jesus could be eating with people who in their eyes were the lowest scum on the earth. But through the eyes of Christ they were something completely different. They were the exact people Jesus chose to die for and they, unlike the Pharisees and scribes knew what they were missing. 

The pride in my heart can stop me from seeing what Jesus wants me to see.

Pride says I have it. Pride says I know better. Pride says I am my own god. That one really hits me. Repentance is one of the things that we were learning at camp that had us each take time in our hearts to ask God what needed to be surrendered. The student wrote on the block what they were asking God to forgive them for and then laid it down on the stage. The act of giving that back to God asking for forgiveness in a visual way but also acknowledging out loud to the leaders what that was. I have learned that saying things out loud brings them into the light. So as leaders we always participate in what the students do and I was pretty surprised when I wrote on my block what I was feeling within my heart. "Pride Lord?" I was starting to recognize the weakness part but pride? On the back of the block I wrote, “Help me to reveal your heart, that means vulnerability, show them your heart.” What kind of surprised me more is that I wrote weakness and pride. It left me asking myself how those two could go together.

Because I do have pride in my heart. Thinking I don’t is just lying to myself but acknowledging that and surrendering that God can then move in and begin to work in that. Healing those places within my heart that I will tend to hide away or dismiss can allow Him more of His heart. The heart of Christ so that others can see Jesus. Repentance is a gift that is given to me that is the Holy Spirit working in me to call to mind those things that need to go.

Father,

Call out those things that cause my perspective to change. Seeing things through your love requires removing the things within my heart that don’t reflect your heart Jesus. So continue to bring those things to my mind daily. Help me to shift my perspective by keeping my eyes on you King Jesus.

Amen

Embodied Truth

              Embodied Truth

“And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and some teachers, equipping the saints for the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ, until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of God’s Son, growing into maturity with a stature measured in Christ’s fullness.” Ephesians 4:11-13

Paul is explaining how unity in Spirit is how we are equipped to do the mission of God so that the body of Christ can be built up and expanded. We can BE the church.

During a phone interview the other day I was asked the question,“What does the word ministry mean to you?” I was interviewed because of my involvement in student ministry. Coming into a large church a few years ago and asking God where I could serve I had felt that nudge to check this ministry out. What did I have that could be brought to students? I knew that God had given me a gift of encouragement and prayer but never imagined how those things would minister to me serving within this ministry. Of all the places I have served in churches this one far exceeds anything God has asked me to step into. Saying yes to things is a reminder I know that I don’t have it and God does showing up means I get to partner with him in what he is doing and I get to belong to something so much greater than myself. That is what that word ministry paints in mind. The ability God has to use willing hearts that have been gifted in unique ways to be the fullness of Christ embodied in us. 

God is in the business of using ordinary people to do extraordinary things. Just look all throughout the Bible and our lives. Together we partner with Him to abundantly more than we could ever think or imagine. 

So what could God be asking you to step into that in trusting him would grow you deeper?

One of the greatest joys of seeing God work is seeing how growth happens within leaders. The gifts God has given each of us is unique in ways that together we grow deeper knowing who we are and what that means living in this world. Equipping saints for the mission. I see that in high schoolers. I hadn’t seen that before but watching them continues to encourage my heart and remind me to keep walking in faith. 

Father,

Thank you that you created for us to be in a relationship that belongs and connects with one another. We can be that embodied Truth walking in the world so that others can know you Jesus. So refocus our minds and hearts when we forget. Unify our faith together and walk in ways that they see Jesus. Help us to grow in the fullness of Christ together.

Amen

 

Carriers of Peace

   Carriers of Peace

“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful.”John 14:27

Jesus was leaving his disciples but he promised to return as their Counselor the Holy Spirit to teach them and remind them of everything he had told them. It was a personal relationship with Jesus that would show them he had come to be their peace. Together they would learn what that meant to carry His peace in a world that lacked order they would become carriers of Peace. 

At camp there was a lot of order in how it was laid out from the schedule of events to the timing of when each group would eat. But on a campus with a thousand students the order didn’t always control the chaos. It was controlled chaos but the requirements of getting students where they needed to be, meeting their physical and emotional needs all the while being in a foreign place takes a toll on leaders. As energizing as students can be, I have witnessed day four for leaders being one of the most challenging. Even the really young ones will begin to show signs of lack of sleep, the care and protection of the students, even the energy drinks can’t kick the fatigue happening within them. We all get worn down.  

I have recognized MS has a way of appearing differently than before my diagnosis. It can come challenges physically or the other way that can cause things to slow down. Not in a good sense but in a way of not being able to think clearly and form what I want to say as quickly. I can remember early on in the diagnosis and being someplace and wanting to flee and hide away when this occurred and in fact I did several times. But this time it was different in a sense of just allowing what has become a part of me to show in myself and being ok with that. After all this is my community I serve alongside weekly with so allowing those weaknesses to show the Lord has been teaching me to allow that to be part of the process. I remember sitting there in a state of just watching what was happening around me. The noises and sounds and masses of students that surrounded me just left me in a state of being still. Unmoved but peaceful. It was then my leader who sat down in  front of me and asked, “Angela, are you alright?” To which I responded, “Yes.” Then he asked, “Are you tired?” and think it was another nod I was beyond tired as well as all the other leaders. This time around the worship wasn’t on my feet, it was sitting with my arms out as I could feel the touch of others alongside me giving me that look I have come to know, “I get it and I see you.” Faith is a shared community and we become that embodied community when we display the peace of Jesus. Allowing others to see our weaknesses can build our faith together faith in this world so that others see Jesus. 

God is teaching me my peace won't feel peaceful, chaos is a state of my mind. My feelings can shift my focus off of remembering what lies within me which is the promise of His peace. Shifting my focus back on Him and taking heart knowing that is His peace present in me. Carrying that peace everywhere I go. Jesus is my Peace.

So where could you be allowing feeling to rule within your heart and mind instead of looking to Jesus to be your Peace?

Divine Seeing

   Divine Seeing 

“Endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:5

I recently heard that the gospel is caught not taught. Paul who knew the law but didn’t understand the role of grace became the gospel message unto the nations. Thirteen books of the Bible were written by Paul and some of the same words that reset my mind today are the very words inscribed by the Holy Spirit throughout his life. God sent Paul on a mission because of his willingness to go be that gospel message. I can do the same when I give my willing heart to be used in a way that embodies the love of God in this world.

There is so much I love about Paul and his life. Before his relationship with Jesus he breathed threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord. The Bible talks about how the Lord suddenly opened his eyes to who he was speaking against and his life was changed forever at that realization.

In God’s grace He opened Paul’s eyes that showed him who appeared on the road he was traveling on was the same God who restored his eyesight and filled him with the Holy Spirit. The scales fell from his eyes. He began to see in a new way. His focus changed because Paul's saw things I a different way.

So what if I chose to see things through God's faithful promises?

Divine seeing isn’t seeing things through my eyes. It is asking for Spiritual eyes to see what I can’t. A remembrance that like Paul what is being created in me is Christ’s character of peace and hope for those that don’t know Jesus yet. 

I become His eyes, ears, and heart. We can become a real living example of the love of God to a watching world. 

Father, Give me an eternal focus when I forget. Be my vision O Lord my God.

Amen

But God

  But God

“But God, who is so rich in mercy, because of his great love that he had for us, made us alive with Christ even though we were dead in our trespasses. You are saved by grace!” Ephesians 2:4-5

Paul is reminding the church that the way they previously lived was no longer the way they were intended to live, a new life was made alive because of Christ. The good news of a rescue plan was made available because of God’s mercy. They would become carriers of Divine Mercy. 

There are so many moments in my life that God has shown me mercy and grace but one that stands out as I celebrate twenty-seven years of marriage is the divine work in me through my marriage. 

I can almost picture that young twenty-two year old walking down the aisle next to her daddy. Surrounded by friends and family in that little Baptist Church, the same one she used to stand on the stage and sing solos. Newley married, walking back down the aisle, “All You Need is Love” is playing because in our young minds we thought that is all we needed. If I close my eyes I can see that young couple next to one another driving those back roads singing Beatles together not really focusing on anything except the road before them. Not really ever thinking about all the reckless things they were doing just living for themselves no time for God. And if it wasn’t for the mercy of God we wouldn’t have received the divine withholding of what was deserved during those years we spent apart from Him. Only because of God’s great love for us. 

We grew to love the Lord in ways that I couldn’t have imagined and singing Beatles in the car together led to some of the sweetest years of us leading worship together. It was because of God’s mercy he showed us grace in ways that can’t be explained. It was because of His great love for us even when we didn’t really care about following Jesus God still chose to love us. He chose us because of His great love for us even when we couldn’t see it. 

During our first year together God began to show us he had so much more for us. I wish I could tell you it was an instantaneous realization that we both received but it was a much slower process over the twenty-seven years. I can look back and even as incredibly difficult at times that was, it taught us what an individual relationship with God looked like our lives in Christ.

But God. It was only because God was rich and merciful that he chose to give me the gift of someone who would become my best friend when I wasn’t looking for one.  The last thing I was looking for was a relationship that was lasting but in the span of twenty-seven years I found a partner with someone I could grow closer to Jesus with. On our own we never would have made it. But God saw something we didn't see in us. He sees what we can't see.

So what is it for you? Where has God shown you if it wasn’t for mercy and grace something wouldn’t have been possible? 

Go Deeper

 

  Go Deeper

“Now to him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think according to the power in us to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever.” Ephesians 3:20

Paul has become a reminder for me living in the body of Christ that I am never alone knowing the empowerment of Holy Spirit is present and active and working. I often forget and coming back to God’s truth is something that will settle something within my heart and mind, a deeper understanding that I could ever experience on my own. It isn’t dependent on my understanding but remembering that God’s promises still remain even as unsteady as that can feel sometimes. I am learning it is hard to walk in deep waters but that grows my dependence on God alone.  

So many things stood out to me that week at camp but one of those reminders I felt in a way that I hope I will never forget.  As I walked out of the dorm having nothing in me from no sleep that night before I was met by an unexpected torrential downpour as my group of girls and I made our way to the dining hall for breakfast. It was a short walk thankfully but even my raincoat couldn’t stop soaking my clothes and the deep puddle we encountered on the way ended up soaking my socks and shoes. I remember as we stepped out the door to encounter that unexpected downpour I thought, “Really Lord, it wasn’t enough I lost all my sleep now I am going to be drenched in rain?” As we entered the dining hall the water from our clothes did not find a new place to reside as I watched the kids slipping and sliding on the water on the floor.  I took a seat at the table watching from a distance, some of them dropping food thinking this is bad but not wanting to show that smiled as if this was the norm. The storms ended up keeping us in that dining hall much longer than we anticipated but it was an opportunity to continue to keep encouraging them even as we continued to see the mess before us and feel that soaked rain on us that couldn’t be dismissed. 

I wasn’t the only leader that experienced this unexpected downpour but as I caught up later that day at a meeting one lady shared what she witnessed when the rain stopped. She too had experienced this moment of unbelief but then she saw pure joy on the students' faces playing in those same deep puddles that soaked our shoes. And just like me she was coming out to serve in a way that was out of her comfort zone that was teaching her growing deeper meant that joy wasn’t based on her circumstances. 

What if what grows me deeper is something that doesn’t feel joyful?  

I think the enemy of my mind wants to make sense of things when they feel hard. That day was hard but there were so many moments God showed up that couldn’t be explained. A peace that surpassed all my understanding. A strength that couldn’t be explained even as everything in me physically was fighting against allowing that to show. And if I had stopped at the drench clothes and felt defeated I wouldn’t have experienced the body of Christ  coming around me in a way that I knew I was never alone. 

So what if growing deeper meant allowing all of it? 

Going deeper is knowing God is with us.

Stand Still

 

  Stand Still

“You do not have to fight this battle, Position yourselves, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD. He is with you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Tomorrow go out to face them, for the LORD is with you.” 2 Chronicles 20:17

 Instructions came from the Spirit of the Lord that came on Jahaziel. The Bible talks about all who were assembled as a congregation and the Lord saying, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the vast number, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. Jehoshaphat did something that I often forget about. The Bible says, "Jehoshaphat was afraid, and he resolved to seek the LORD.”  In his desperation he sought the Lord. 

It seemed like a simple prayer but even as I knew the MRI was happening in a couple days I asked a few people to pray.  “Please pray I lay still in the MRI.” You might not be bothered by MRI'S but I don’t care for them and find them confining. I will close my eyes laying as still as I can but the sounds become louder than the worship music playing in my headphones. Laying still in a tight space so the technicians can get detailed scans can become challenging. I was told the procedure would take an hour and half and despite my cold feet and the itch on my nose I wanted to scratch I got my MRI accomplished in an hour. My simple prayer was answered even as the request sounded silly in my mind. 

Praise the Lord the MRI result showed no disease progression almost five years into this diagnosis. I will never forget that time in the ER when I was getting my second MRI within a few hours of the first one. It was there in that tight little space I knew something was about to happen that would change everything. I remember laying there and thinking none of it made sense but knew I could trust God and whatever was happening he could do it. Little did I know that would be my turning point of trusting in what I couldn’t see to show me who fights for me. In was in my desperation of not knowing where to turn I found the Hope when it didn't make sense.

Where has God met you in desperation to remind you he fights for you?

Standing still is a learned thing, one I am continuing to learn more about. But I also find that the desperation God has been creating in me when it feels like nothing will shift is the remembrance to allow him to fight. I am positioned in a way that will always resort back to forgetting believing he will fight for me is a heart remembrance. God is with me.

So Father, help me remain still so that in what I see can position my heart and mind to see your salvation. You fight for us when all of it seems insurmountable our job is stand still.

Amen