Gospel Myself
“I say then, walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other so that you don’t do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.” Galatians 5:16-18
The law was fulfilled through the inner influence of the Holy Spirit no longer living on my own but being led by the Spirit. That will be a daily battle. The competition between my new self being created in Christ and my old self. Releasing my independent spirit with the unteachable attitude to embrace following Jesus. I have an opportunity to grow in my relationship with Jesus as I battle but the choice is mine. It is determined by who’s voice I follow.
I am learning as I grow that what I speak about myself and to myself will determine how I see myself. Allowing God’s voice to become louder can determine who I live my life in obedience to myself or obedience to the Holy Spirit within me.
Early on into my diagnosis of MS I noticed the thoughts would come in waves to make me feel isolated. Some thoughts included, “Don’t say that out loud they will think you are crazy.” The biggest one I remember, the one that would keep me up at night or greet me first thing in the morning was, “You are all alone.” Thankfully I was around people that prayed for me and encouraged me to recognize that even as those thoughts came that what was occurring didn’t have to determine my future. I could trust in God. I also remember telling God that what was happening didn’t make sense one day in my car and then the thought came this time the voice was gentle, “We have only begun.” That voice was truth because now everything I had been learning along the way in my journey of my relationship with God was now going to be revealed in a way of either trusting in myself or believing the Spirit who lived in me. Who was I going to listen to guide me? The choice was mine to make. Looking back almost five years ago I can see that was the beginning of God starting something within my spirit to show me the battle would continue to be fought and I was getting to know that my Victor would be the one calling all the shots.
The thoughts would still come and they still do today but I would begin to speak over them. I would begin to gospel myself in truth when the thoughts would come. "It feels out of control but I know God you control all things.” My struggle became my normal to know I will struggle but speaking truth over my life would bring me freedom from my mind. Believing I have been set free from my mind creating a wholeness within me to know the mind of Christ is how God has designed me to live but that again is a daily choice for me to make. It is an invisible battle being fought and that is probably the most difficult thing about it. The battle fought between our hearts and minds to invite the Holy Spirit in the battle to remind us we aren’t alone.
So what thoughts are you battling with that you need to re gospel yourself you have been set free? What if you asked the Holy Spirit that question?
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