Up On This Rock

“As you come to him, a living stone-rejected by people but chosen and honored by God-you yourselves, as living stones, a spiritual house, are being built to be a holy priesthood to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 2: 4-5

Darkness is a tricky thing. Even knowing that Jesus is the Light, it will come upon us from nowhere. Maybe it is a sleepless night like I experienced recently. Saying yes to things of the Lord isn’t always easy and I’m learning that even after the yes is always the following thru that is more challenging. I said yes, many months ago to middle school camp but when the day arrived along with it came the anxious thoughts and the fear.

It wasn’t a crippling fear, it was a “What have I got myself into?” kind of fear.

God knows our fears. 

God is building us into something that is unshakable in the middle of our fears. Satan wants to tell us to hold it in and God says bring them to Him. Living stones means that we are being built with the Living power within us to withstand the fears and doubts. And allowing Jesus to move in is giving permission to go and do what He desires.

But the reality of living in a world as His chosen and Him building us into that spiritual house is a process of going back and forth and some of those times will just feel crushing and that we have been defeated. But knowing the Rescuer is reason to cling to our Rock.

I lost a whole night of sleep the night before I went to camp with those middle schoolers. One thing I have learned with MS is there are some things that can lighten the load. Sleep is crucial and rest is vital. And I lost both. Why? Well, I know part was the fear, but the other was the enemy not wanting me to be obedient to what God was calling me to. I prayed, asked for prayer, listened to worship songs, read scripture, listened to scripture but sleep never came. I prayed for others just lying in that bed. 1 am came and then it was 2 am and it was when I started to hear that voice. “Don’t go. Remember what you are like when you get no sleep.” And “Walk out there and tell Eric you can’t go.” I kept repeating those simple truths. “Lord, I know you are in control, and I can trust you.” As I moved out to the living room trying to change the environment, I realized that sleep wasn’t going to come. So, I put in my air pods and listened to Psalms. At 4:30 am I realized that I wasn’t feeling good. It was now becoming real.  I was getting ready to go to a camp along with 1,000 very energetic fast moving middle schoolers and I had nothing. So, I asked the Lord, “What do you want me to do?” and I began my daily bible reading trying to push all that I was feeling away. It was there that I felt the Lord say, “Go.” 

Sometimes we think that God has dealt with things, and they will resurface, and the enemy is just waiting for us to take the bait of what God desires to teach us to trust Him in. That fear was creeping back in. But the reminder of what God does in the middle of it was a reminder to move forward. As I left that morning I was drained and I was hesitant, but I didn’t once share what had just occurred. I got some strange looks from people, but I also got, “I am praying for you.” And God showed up. Removing everything I had gave Him permission to move in and give me that Strength, Clarity, and Focus. That was my desperate prayer that night at 12am and He provided that in more ways I could count. From the bus ride to arriving and experiencing a never-ending day to finally laying down after 11ock. From sharing my story to some girls in my group I was leading to sharing with other leaders along the way. We all felt it and He provided.  I’ve never experienced that kind of power of the Holy Spirit before. I am not even sure why it surprises me because He always shows up. 

Jesus is always with us. Recall where He has shown up. Thank Him. 

Father,

We build our lives on you. Nothing else will stand against the current of this world. We will always be grasping for something that never holds us steady if we don’t remain holding fast to you Jesus. You are with us. You are for us. 

“He alone is my rock and salvation, my stronghold; I will not be shaken. My salvation and glory depend on God, my strong rock. My refuge is in God.” Psalm 62: 6-7

When we choose to allow fear and anxiety to rule, remind us that in our Rock we cannot be shaken. 

Thank you, Jesus.