Shepherd Of My Heart

  Shepherd of My Heart

“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.” John 16:33

What would it look like if we trusted that everything belongs to Him? Like all of it. The good, the bad and all in between. Our whole lives belonged to God. 

If we lived in a way that our words and actions would just flow from a heart that said, “ I can trust that what you finish will be accomplished, Lord, so let it be done.” No matter what we would just embrace the good and bad like there isn’t a difference. What would that look like to others that don’t know Jesus? 

I have to concentrate when I walk sometimes. My husband will say, “You are focused on walking” to which I will reply, “I am because I don’t want to trip.” The physical walk can be challenging depending on what the day is like. I am learning even more than that physical walk, my spiritual one is so much more important. And that reminder to focus has become this rhythm of knowing what comes against me when I am not kept steady. The enemy would love for me to stumble and trip and fall prey to his lies more than anything. The Bible says that he prowls around like a roaring lion waiting to devor his prey. 

Nothing can stand in the way of the Lord. No weapon formed against us shall remain. Before Jesus went to the cross he spoke the words in the verse above knowing what it would take for our freedom and his sacrifice was required to keep us from stumbling. Allowing His voice to be the one that guides us each day. Living in this world and inviting Him every moment to guide us. “Father, I know you are with me remind my heart of your Steadfastness when I am so unsteady.  I will picture that sometimes when I am walking when I become wobbly or unsteady. Jesus right beside me. Sometimes in the middle of the night when thoughts attempt to overtake me I will remind my heart. “Father, I am held by you. You are with me. 

“But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on the wings on eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

When I trust in the LORD I can soar on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, and walk and not faint. Even hearing that word run is something I don't for fear of tripping and it can bring to mind feelings of lacking.  And boy does the enemy love for us to focus on those outward things. What is happening on the inside of us is what matters. He can make something new out of nothing. Making us more like Jesus every single day in those very places I tend to hide away.  Where I lack He can come in and fill it with Peace and Security. Delivering me from all my fears because knowing whatever I face He is with me. Learning that dependence doesn’t come from within me but from Him alone. He works everything good for His purpose. No matter what we face we can trust dependence is leaning into Jesus and recognizing focusing our eyes on him is what can hold us secure. Looking into his radiant face and seeing our lives in a way that reflects the mind of Christ. Good, Pleasing, and Joyful because we are in Christ.  Even more important than our physical bodies is our minds. Reminding ourselves that in the places where we can’t find understanding His can be learned. His ways aren’t ours. Learning together that what we face together can make God’s ways known to everyone that sees us in ways we don’t care for others to see. Those are the good plans He has even when they don’t feel good. God is so much more than my feelings. His Character traits will always trump my feelings. Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father and Prince of Peace. 

Walking is how I started this journey. I decided to share walking a 5k walk with everyone around me. That is when the writing started. It was during that time I was learning what it meant to have conversation with God and  walking with the Lord through everything. Telling him everything I was thinking and feeling. The struggles, insecurities, and fears.  Stopping along the walk reminding myself to rest, reset, and begin again. In the walk he met my insecurities and would comfort my heart. The Strength came from Him.  And the day of that 5K is something I will never forget. Going the whole distance and not stopping. I had never been able to do that the whole time training but that day He just kept me going. Those shaky last steps I was greeted by people who prayed for me and cheered me on the whole time. Some I met that helped me gain the strength to go the distance and some that had been there for many years. Crossing that finish line was something I will never forget and will forever be etched within my mind. And even as I am here again in a place where walking distances has once again become something I have to work towards I know that as hard as that is it was never about the distance walking. It was always about Jesus meeting me in all of it where I lack. And it still hold true today. The heart posture that continues to believe no matter what he is with me. We all walk with things in our lives that throw us off balance, shake us, and cause us to stumble and trip. Things that don’t seem possible to walk in can become opportunities to walk with Jesus. For Jesus to renew our Strength daily. That is what he is continuing to speak to my heart. “Daily is a heart posture Angela don’t go before me.” 

Sometimes I picture him as a Shepherd. Shepherd is one of my favorites names for Jesus. Right next to me. Holding me, protecting me, keeping the enemy away from me and reminding my mind anxious thoughts don’t belong to me. “Your ways Lord make them known to me, guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God that saves me.” Gathering me in his arms when I become overwhelmed or fatigued. Staying close and gently leading me. “I’ve got you child.” “Stay close.” 

“He protects his flock like a shepherd; he gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them in the fold of his garment. He gently leads those who are nursing.” Isaiah 40:11

That is my Shepherd. The One who counsels my heart and guides my steps. The One who tells me, “ Don’t be afraid I am with you and will provide everything you need to walk this.” The Shepherd of my heart.