The One

                  

“He will be like a tree planted by water; it sends its roots out toward a stream; it doesn’t fear when heat comes, and its foliage remains green. It will not worry in a year of drought or cease producing fruit.” Jeremiah 17:8

When I write I will never know what God will do with a writing. Sometimes I will get ready to share one and the Lord will restructure the whole thing. Like this one I wrote a few days ago.  He might add a different verse or questions or different thoughts. The writing started after journaling with the Lord right after my diagnosis. I took verses and then prayed them back to the Lord sharing everything that I was feeling. I went back today to look at a entry from July 2022. I wrote, “Almost a year since my diagnosis. Look what you have done in a year! The people I have met and the ways you have used this are amazing. When I look back and see what I have missed and not been able to do there isn’t much. I can probably say I have gained more. “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and they will trust in the LORD.” Psalm 40:3  It was there that I discovered He met me in that place and I got to learn to know God like I never had encountered before.  Writing devotions came from being in a situation that made me feel hopeless to wake up the next morning and go to the Lord and find words of comfort and a specific word He was speaking to my heart when I was reading my Bible. That led to my first devotional writing that I hesitantly shared with a couple women and asked them to pray.  The next words out of my mouth were, “I am not a writer but I know God is.” and from then on God has introduced me into so many lives I get to share alongside with others through sharing His faithfulness through writing. I am still amazed how God could take me who never was a writer and put something within my heart that can’t share what He is teaching me and revealing through the lives around me and His Written word. To not share would be what the enemy would love and I am completely aware of that.

Before I started writing devotions I wrote long writings that I thought might be a book one day and they still sit in my google drive. I went to a writing conference to see if that one writing would be something the Lord could use only to have it scribbled through with grammatical marks like back in highschool. Before I left that room sitting in tears I sat with that mentor just doing her job and realized once again the enemy of my mind was working against all the writing. And don’t think I didn’t leave that room with hand held high praying over those lies I was hearing in that moment that I wasn’t good enough to continue all the writing and sharing. 

At the time of this writing I have 13 devotional writings that will be published through another Christian devotional page. So that lie in the room from the enemy that day has been proven that God is always working. 

I never know what will turn into a writing. Sometimes it will be something I experience that I will begin to see in a new light after sitting with it for awhile. Or it might be a story that someone shares. My favorite thing to write about was preschoolers because I never stopped learning from them. Even during this time of not being a preschool teacher I can take heart knowing a new journey is on the horizon. And I get to share with all my coworkers what God continues to do along this new journey. 

Writing is actually something that came from the hardest time of my life. It was journaling with the Lord after being diagnosed with MS. I learned that I could go to Him with all of it and His word backs up everything He says. Not only that but that is where I could find the Peace and Security I so desperately needed. Those scriptures cards that I carried around with simple truths in my early walk with Christ now have become imprinted on my heart. That is what He does with His Written Word. It is Living and Breathing and we get to be part of that. I don’t know how I would live my life any other way.

I never know what I will be reading or listening to before I write. Some of the books I now hold and treasure are the ones that echo God’s heart and His love for us. Learning that the Bible is the story of God’s unshakable love for a people that continue to turn away from Him encourages me knowing I’m not alone in the fight. Or maybe a writing comes from something that is said or something I see I just never know. It goes down into my notebook only to be revealed when it comes time to write. What God is teaching me spending time with Him is something I can’t put down. When I pray, “Lord what does that mean?” and then take that same thought walking or throughout the day to have Him connect it for me is still something I can’t get over. To learn that His word was designed to increase my Godly wisdom but more so to know His heart. Learning that no matter what I can be planted in Christ and from that I can remain steady and fruitful in my life even when everything around me feels like it is falling apart. The stories aren’t much different than in the world we live in today. That encourages my heart. The Bible is so that we know how to live in this world.

I want you to know that sometimes I don’t want to share. What the Lord illuminates sometimes is comforting and other times it is this reminder to keep choosing Him and trust in what I cannot see. I am not home yet. No matter how much my understanding is it will never compare to His and in order to live for Christ it that surrender to self-life daily. Sometimes I will share a writing to sit with it all day and asking myself those same questions. And sometimes I just want to step out of all of this and hide away. But why would I if it was just for one person?

Someone had recently said that to me. “You write for the one.” And that is always behind everything I ever hesitate to share with you guys.  If one person read one writing and got something from it think of that impact. Sometimes I walk around the neighborhood or sit in my car and look around at the people and have that same thought. “Lord what if this one person knew your love for them?” What happens within one person when they get a hold of what God wants to do in them and through them? 

I pray for boldness. I ask for anything and everything when it comes to prayer. No prayer is too big or too little for God. Today I prayed for boldness with my church and here I am writing all my thoughts out before you. It has been a long time since I have written in this way and it was one of those, “Let’s write Lord” to all these words spilling out before my eyes. That is another crazy part of this whole thing. What started out as words on notecards now has become this notebook full of all these words to watch God pull it together in a way that I could never explain. What started out in writings as using commentaries has now become digging, sitting, and allowing the Lord to teach me what it means. I just never know when something I write will be shared only to pray and ask and then it will be revealed though something I read, hear, or see. And those note cards have become titles in my notebook that now have tags to identify what the writing has in it. I’ve got at least 21 waiting to be shared..

My favorite thing to write about is His faithfulness and through the testimonies of other people. If I could put together all the times someone has liked, or responded to a writing with a scripture or reflection that would probably be a chapter by itself. The hardest thing when I started all this was trusting that God would do what He wanted with it.  I have no experience when it comes to grammatical, biblical knowledge, and writing in itself so why would God call me to do this?  I still struggle knowing what I send out isn’t grammatically correct but also know the message will be there. I now share in texts, a blog, and social media and occasionally on my church app. What started as me texting a few people has continued to astound me at the span of the audience God reaches. I still share with people that I don’t see face to face. And sometimes out of the blue I will get a response back and I smile knowing that God was doing something within that heart. That is what writing has done for me. It has shown me the heart of God in a way that Has given me the desire to keep choosing Him every day.

“The one who believes in me, as the Scriptures has said, will have streams of living water flow from deep within him.” John 7:38

I recently sat in a worship and prayer service and was meditating on Living Water. I pictured myself being submerged in it. Jesus came so that we could receive that washing and submerging every single day. That is another thing I have learned about His Word. The enemy wants to choke out the Word in us so that we don’t become fruitful. The One who came to save us gives us that life giving Word to live planted and live in a way that looks joyful to the world. 

So that is the desire to write and share. Jesus went after the one. The one person that begins a new life in Jesus isn’t just changed they are beginning a new transformation. Not just them but think of those around them. What happens when we turn the schemes of the enemy into His Testimony? What happened in the Bible? What happened within your life? 

So I continue to write for the one. The person that thinks they have gone too far that they can’t come back. For the person that thinks the Lord doesn’t hear your prayers. For the person that needs that encouragement and is also facing a diagnosis they can’t wrap their minds around. For that person that has been praying for boldness to go out and share. 

The one is where Jesus wants to work. That one is you. He loves you more than you could ever imagine. He is worth it all. We are trees planted in streams of Living water and we don’t have to fear and worry and know that He has planted us exactly where He wants us. 

So I pray that you are discovering that life giving Word through your life. That no matter what happens we serve a God who is unshakable. That you tell your stories to the world of what He has done. 

I want to thank you each for all the prayers and encouragement over this last year and half. You guys are the reason I still write. It is almost like the Lord constantly reminds me, “You write and I’ll share.”

As I take a bit of a break again please know I look forward to sharing with you again. Never in a million years did I think that God would give me a passion to write and share with all of you. So thank you for coming along side me in my journey. Our stories are His to tell the world of His great love.  To Him be all the glory. He is the One worthy of ALL our praise.

Love,

Angela