Shepherd My Heart

   Shepherd My Heart

“He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree; so that, having died to sins, we might live for righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but you have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.” 1Peter 2:24

Not much has changed since back in Peters’s time. He was writing to remind them. Even that word Shepherd had to conjure something within their minds. In the Old Testament was the promise to come and now God was speaking through Peter. “Remember guys keep your minds focused. “Remember the One who went before us that endured the suffering.” The One who was blameless but took it all on so that we could be made right with God is Jesus. The Word of God was meant to Shepherd us. And so many times I want to lead myself. So many times I choose my voice of over the Living One. And another day I hear the Lord, “Remember Angela you hold nothing return to me so I can guide you.”  “Lord forgive me.”

I read recently that our bodies carry the Word of the Lord. Not just ours but others around us. So many times I forget and get discouraged and the reminder to point me back to Jesus is said through someone else. The Spirit of God moving and revealing His truth in us. Have you ever thought of that? What kind of image does that bring to your mind? People God have surrounded us with His heart to remind us and instruct us in His ways. A gift from the Lord. And together we GET to live this way to every corner of Heaven on Earth. As One. 

“The greatest issue facing the world today, with all it’s heartbreaking needs, is whether those who…  are identified as “Christians” will become disciples, students, apprentices, practitioners, of Jesus Christ, steadily learning from him how to live the life of the Kingdom of the Heaven to every corner of human existence.” Dallas Williard

Have I forgotten my Kingdom purpose and who leads me in that?

Jesus isn’t looking for me to shepherd and guide myself. He isn’t looking to expand His Kingdom through people that desire to guide themselves. He is looking for people with fully devoted hearts to do whatever that looks like in our daily lives. He is looking for people to follow whatever the cost. He says He will guide us and direct us and the enemy will say, “Don’t listen to Him just allow that thought to set in and determine what you think.” The enemy desires we see things through the lens of discouragement and stay in a place of believing nothing will ever change. And Jesus says, “Come and taste and see my Goodness.” “Feast of the Word of God.” 

So what voice will I listen to? The choice is mine.

Father,

When I picture that word Shepherd it brings to mind closeness. Staying close and abiding. Listening to your voice Lord is a daily practice. Allowing you to guide us remembering what traps lie around us. The lie of abandonment. The lie of not being in control. Your Word reminds us to come to you. To stay and sit and receive and that you take up our troubles. Allow that to be our focus. Thank you Jesus for being the Shepherd and Overseer of our Souls. 

Amen

 

Give Me Deep Roots

 

    Give Me Deep Roots

James 1:4 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete needing nothing. 

Oh the day when we will be fully complete lacking nothing! When our faith will be perfect. The enemy would love for us to stop all this believing, growing, and moving into action but God tells me to keep going. Keep growing in Him. 

Matthew 13:20 The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word. 

As a community we were asked to read the Scripture found in Matthew 13: 20-23. Jesus taught in parables and this particular one was helping them to understand the conditions of their hearts. When we hear the Word of God what do we do with it? The Word of the Lord is meant to Shepherd our hearts. The parable of the sower of seeds is a story I am familiar with, so when we started reading it together along with the ways the Lord desires to work within us, a story that I was familiar with started to illuminate things in my life that caused a stir within me. It would have been really easy to just consider myself all good when it comes to this story but when I started examining it from a different lens I started to gain a new perspective. If I stop learning and growing I am exactly where the enemy would love for me to be but when I continue to ask the Lord what this means He always reveals it those areas that cause that restlessness within me and as that is never a fun process to remove those things I can grow it isn’t a fun process. But in that realization are ways that can teach me to become more dependent on God. He wants my Full heart. 

How can I allow God to be fully present in my life? 

 Evaluating what this might mean in my spiritual heart is where the Lord was guiding me.  Words such as regrets, resentment, or bitterness were what I felt God was beginning to play out within my mind.  Those little things that hadn’t  been resolved. Hearing the truth and allowing that truth to plant something deep within my heart are two different things. And God was once again revealing as I spent time with this passage a situation that I was becoming bitter about. Not allowing His Presence to Shepherd my heart but once again trying to put my own thoughts into the situation.  And once again it was the remembrance He was guiding me in. Rocky ground doesn’t allow that deep remembrance of His Truth it is grabbing onto those justifications that have become stumbling blocks of what He desires. “Remember Angela my faithfulness with you” is the reminder of my heart to keep trusting and believing. He desires deep roots so He can grow in us more endurance and strength. 

What situation might He be asking you to allow Him to Shepherd you through? 

Lord, 

You lack nothing when it comes to your faithfulness for your children. I repent of my selfishness and waywardness when it comes to forgetting and becoming self righteous. Forgive us when brushing off things that you want to work within us to become more like you. Lay on our hearts and minds that situation or person that you are calling us to continue to pray on. Help us to remember everything you did for us. It is all for your glory Jesus so that others can know you. Give us a deeper understanding and a deeper faith that can only be found in you King Jesus.

Amen

New Life

  New Life

“When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and knelt down before him. And he cried out with a loud voice, “What do you have to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you before God, don’t torment me! For he had told him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” Mark 5:6-7

This demon possessed man met Jesus. The Bible says that he came out of the tomb where he was living and met him. He met Jesus and immediately the demons knew the name of Jesus. Jesus, Son of the Most High God.This is one of the stories I used to hear as a kid and imagine how it goes on to tell that Jesus commanded the demons out and they ended up going into a large herd of pigs into a steep bank into the sea and drowned there. But looking at it closer I noticed the,”demons begged him, “Send us to the pigs, so that we may enter them. So he gave them permission, and the unclean spirits came out and entered the pigs. The demons begged Jesus. The demons had to ask permission.

The demons were driven out by the Master.

The Kingdom of God was on the move. Jesus was on the move and the story was being told through people that were desperate for the healing touch of Jesus and Jesus moved and healed, and cast out demons, resurrecting and telling them to go and tell how much the Lord had done for them. Always pointing back to the Father giving Him all the glory.

What are you running from?

Jesus knows what separates us. I recently read that our bodies tell the story of the Bible and God invites us to partner with Him through it. When we read the Word of God we ask, “What is your Word for me?” It is participating in what God desires to do within our hearts and minds. And this passage reminds my heart that Jesus met everyone. It didn’t matter how excluded they were or how long they were in bondage and how deep the evil was Jesus met them.

The voice of the Master commands whatever that is that is holding us back. But just as the Bible says, the man met Jesus. It is never forced. He never forces his hand for us to return but in that return there is something that can’t be explained. In the return is a life we could never have imagined. The Bible talks about that same demon possessed man who was seen sitting there, dressed in his right mind. Those that had tried to help him were not witnessing something they couldn’t explain. That man met Jesus because of his faith that he could heal him. The God of mountains is the God of the valley. His Mercy will always meet us in our messes. 

Father,

There is nothing better than your love. Your love is relentless and chases us down. That is my story. Things that bound me and chained me to my old life were let loose when I came and you met me in my mess. That is my prayer as I continue to write and share that others will know they are never too far gone. Thank you Jesus for new life. 

“Therefore, the old has passed away, and see, the new has come! Everything is from God, who has reconciled us to himself, us to himself though Christ and has given us the ministry of reconciliation.” 2 Corinthians 5:18

Praise Positions Our Hearts

                                           Praise Positions Our Heart

“The LORD is my strength and song; he has become my salvation. This is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God and I will exalt him.” Exodus 15:2

God continued to use Moses to lead the Israelites through the wilderness. This is a song of praise they sang after God had delivered them once again from Pharoah. This display of His faithfulness parted the seas to give them dry ground as the Lord instructed Moses to stretch out his hand. The Bible says that Moses, “stretched out his hand over the sea, and at daybreak the sea returned to its normal depth. While the Egyptians were trying to escape from it, the LORD threw them into the sea.” Exodus 14:27

At the stretch of the LORD’s hand the enemy was once again defeated. So then they sang a song of praise. After they saw the great power of the LORD the people feared the LORD and believed in him and in his servant Moses. 

Praise positions us to enter the promises of God. As I read that recently I thought about these last four years. Receiving something as a diagnosis took something so unexplainable and showed me the Hand of God. It taught me to position my heart in a way that said, “I will praise you in the unknowns.” I will praise you for the outcome before it comes.” I remember early on thinking that I was never once abandoned when I turned from God and chose my own way so why would He abandon me now? The enemy will fight against us remembering this all the time. I am finding in those places of insecurities are the exact places that God shows us praise is how we defend our hearts. Declaring that our reason to praise isn’t because of what we have been given but because He who has given us things is the One in control of it all.

“Not to us, LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory because of your faithful love, because of your truth.” Psalm 115:1

I reflect back to that first Sunday after being diagnosed. Begging the doctors to push the testing to get me out in time for worship team practice. Things that happened in that week of getting diagnosed that didn’t make sense but were still opportunities to glorify His name. From the nurse that I shared with her, it had been so long since she had been to church from the doctors that just looked at me when I had that peace. From sitting in my hospital bed reading my diagnosis and knowing that before a word was said that what was going on was about to change everything . Peace in the middle of unknowns. His Hand on it and knowing that His Peace was surpassing all my understanding. 

Jesus demonstrated the posture of his heart towards us. We don’t trust God because He does what we want, we trust because He has already proven His love towards us. God’s Faithful love IS Jesus. It is an everyday saving Grace that is available every single moment of the day. 

Father,

You constantly care for us. Your hand is always upon us. When it is hard. When it doesn’t make sense. When it is increasingly harder living in this world that tells us none of this matters. Choosing your ways daily is allowing your Holy Spirit to lead us and guide us. We praise you for the outcome before it comes. We praise you for what you do in the middle of our messes. You are a Faithful God that cares for each and everyone on this earth. Help us to remember the Grace and Mercy you showed us when we look around. Position our hearts to praise you in our lives Jesus.

Amen

God Steps In

   God Steps In

“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!” As he passed alongside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew, Simon’s brother casting a net into the sea-for they were fishermen. “Follow me,” Jesus told them," And I will make you fish for people.”

It is never easy stepping out and following Jesus. God’s plan all along was to step into human form and show us how to live and He did that through Jesus’s life. Sharing our lives in a way that makes the world not understand why we follow Jesus is the very thing we were called to do. Sharing the good news of how we have been saved and how His saving Grace is an ongoing thing is something we will have to get comfortable with. But sharing our lives gives others the opportunities to see what that really looks like. 

Vulnerable. One of the definitions I found of that word was being open and honest about your true self. The imperfections are what we want to hide away because of fear and rejection. Vulnerable was a word that was encouraged to be used with our middle schoolers that week during camp. Vulnerable even has this ring to it that makes me want to hide my face. It is the opposite of this world where we are told to cover up everything. Just look at social media and how that paints the picture of what we see daily.  Very rarely will you encounter someone being real with things for others to see. The pictures that are painted are “feel good” and “look how great my life is” but sitting with those kids this past week has been the reminder of how when we do share that opens up opportunities we would never have received had we not been vulnerable. Being open and honest about our true selves quiets the enemy and all his lies. Living true authentic lives allows others to see Jesus.

We carry the Presence of Jesus everywhere we go. Even with that Living Spirit we will have challenges and struggles living in our earthly bodies. I experienced this day four of that middle school camp. The heat intensified and the fatigue was setting in. I was following those students and had to sit down. The realization of what was occurring in my body was bringing me to a stop. So I found a shady spot and sat. The kids passed me by and I didn’t like it. I don’t like when I can’t control things. But I’ve learned that is when I need to release that control and allow others to step in. Following Jesus means that I’m never alone. And once again he showed up that day more times than I could count. And sharing how He did that in a way that others could see that in the middle of following Him.  

“Now this is what the LORD says- the one who created you, Jacob, and the one who formed you Israel. “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1

The one thing God has continued to show me is that He is in it all. As much as I want control I am not in control. Through MS He gives me things that will always challenge me and that becomes an opportunity for me to let go. Letting go allows Him to step in. We GET to share our stories and lives together how we step into all that God is doing in and through us. That is how this world will SEE Jesus. 

Father,

We can rely on your Presence. Your Presence is everywhere! If we open our spiritual eyes to see it comes in more ways than we can count. Thank you for the ability to share our lives with one another. Thank you, Jesus, for carrying us through all of it. Help us continue to follow you wherever you lead. It is all for you Jesus!

Amen

 

 

Jesus in the Chaos

Note: Pictured is my student from 3 years ago. The one I refer to as "Sweet Little One." I have watched her grow and change in the last few years. What a blessing! 

Jesus In the Chaos

Luke 8:22-25 One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s cross to the other side of the lake.”  So they got into a boat and started out.  As they sailed across, Jesus settled down for a nap.  But soon a fierce storm came down on the lake.  The boat was filling with water, and they were in real danger.  The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Master, Master, were going to drown!”  When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and the raging waves.  Suddenly the storm stopped, and all was calm.  Then he asked them, “Where is your faith?”  

How do I trust Jesus amid the chaos?  

It is that time of year again and school is starting back up. Whether you are a parent, teacher, or student this can be hard because it is the start of a new school year. As a former preschool teacher, having the youngest of the preschoolers always came with unique challenges for me. Some kids never had been around anyone other than mom and dad. Some had never been in a classroom with strangers and a room full of their peers. As difficult as that time was I knew eventually they would get used to it. I would tell mom and dad, “Don’t worry, eventually they are going to love it and won’t want to leave.” But that always took time. About the second week as I was leaving for work my husband commented that I looked stressed.  I hadn’t said anything to indicate that, but he could see it written all over my face. I was already anticipating the very busy transitioning preschoolers that I was going to encounter that morning.

As I began to open that door for those sweet little ones that were in the process of learning to trust us, and that mom was going to come back my phone texted. “How can I pray for you?”  My faithful prayer partner was there as if she was in the very room that soon would hold all those anxious preschoolers.  I responded, “That I would allow Jesus into the chaos.”  

I can’t recall how many times he showed up that morning. He was invited time and time again. We had a new one that was starting, and he was upset because the others were crying.  The anxiousness that others were showing he was beginning to notice and starting to react to. I had one that I had renamed “Sweet Little One”, this precious one had the power to get me to question if I was equipped for this and she was back so strong and fighting not wanting to stay that morning. The little curly headed one just clutched her blanket holding on to it until the end of the day. And one that was starting to trust had been there the previous class and decided she didn’t want to be there today. Comforting, holding, and speaking soft words to them and reassuring them. We made it another day. Chaos but we made it. 

In order to get past the crying, they must learn to trust us and know that we will take care of them. I would always tell the parents, “The sooner you trust us the sooner they will trust us.” 

Those years teaching preschoolers taught me so much but one of my biggest takeaways was Jesus will take care of me when I am surrounded by chaos.  Only time allowing Him into all of it can I develop that understanding of that kind of relationship. The one that says I trust you even in the unknowns. 

There were moments in that classroom when the storm calmed down and then moments when it started back up. Just like in my life.  Just like standing in my kitchen anticipating the chaos with the look written all over my face. Because we forget and take our eyes off Jesus and put them on the fierce winds and crashing waves and say, “Master, Master, I am going to die.” But the Master says, “I am the One who commands the winds and waves to obey.” So why do I forget that? Instead of trusting being a knee jerk reaction I am like that little one that feeds off others sometimes. I start to listen to all the scary things around me and my heart begins to respond to what I see. Or I am like the one who clutches her blanket holding on to what I want instead of releasing my grip for the Lord to provide. Jesus tells me trust me. Give it all to me. I will calm you.

Fear is always at the root of it, at least that is where my thoughts go. The comfort of Jesus being in the boat with the disciples and they still were scared. I’m like those disciples sometimes and rely on my understanding instead of looking to His reassurance.  We might not say I am going to die like the disciples but maybe it is fail. The thing about fear is the enemy wants us to dismiss it and hide it away. Even saying that word fear is this assumption of not having it all together. And the truth is we never will. It is a process of acknowledging it, surrendering it, and replacing it with God’s Authoritative Word. “Father, you tell me not to fear because you have all the Authority.” Exchanging my truth for His truth day in and day out. Asking the Holy Spirit what is in our hearts that needs to be brought into the Light.

Where have you allowed the enemy to speak fear into your chaos? Tell the Lord and allow Him to calm you. 

Master,

That name brings to my heart Authority. Master over our thoughts, Lord. Call out those things that we attempt to hide away.  When we forget, remind us. When we begin to look at the dangers, remind us. We live in this world knowing that we can be secure in your hands knowing that no matter what you are with us. It is because of the chaos that you can reign and rule in our hearts and minds. Leaning into you is the reason for knowing you are the Commander of our hearts. We get to see your goodness each day. Jesus thank you for your Holy Spirit that leads us and guides us. We are never alone. You are always with us.

Thank you, Jesus.

 

Don't Rush

 

 Don’t Rush

“For just as the rain and snow fall from heaven and do not return there without saturating the earth and making it germinate and sprout, and providing seed to sow and food to eat, so my word that comes from my mouth will not return to me empty, but it will accomplish what I please and will prosper in what I send it to do.” Isaiah 55:10-11

I remember learning this verse early on when I started to discover the power of His Word. It was a snowy day and I could see how the snow was falling and covering the ground. It was one of those moments God was showing me through His creation how His Word was accomplishing things in and around me. How the promise of whatever I faced would still be me prospering and that what He sends out to accomplish is done in a way that covers me. That saturation would occur and my mind and heart could receive to know that kind of trust in the Lord.

It has always been His desire to dwell with us. It has always been His desire to invite me into the process of responding to His mercy and grace. But so many times I rush it.

I read recently that God’s timelines are often longer than we want and that is so true. “We live in a world that rushes, but worship a God who doesn’t. That’s not to say He’s slow. He’s patient.” Kyle Ransom

How do I rush the things of God?

I find myself lately asking more and more for quicker obedience. Not just myself but others around me. It sounds a bit like, “How much longer Lord? Please remove the obstacles that stand in the way.” When the reality is the Holy Spirit has to do that. Just as His Word provides, sows, and accomplishes it is the same way with the Holy Spirit. And when I rush it I am once again stepping into to tell God I know better instead of trusting He will do the work within that situation. 

His Word promises that it will sustain me. His Word brings life to dead situations. His Word covers, protects, clothes us with mercy and grace. His Word establishes Authority over all of our unknowns and falls upon our hearts and minds to remind us of who we belong to. It silences the roars and steadies our gaze upon the One that is worthy of all our praise. That same Word lives in us. Jesus.

So where do I need to start trusting God will accomplish what He desires and move out of the way?

Father,

Thank you that you care that much about us. Thank you for the gift of creation that reminds us of our Creator. When it doesn’t make sense fix our gaze on you. You establish the mountains by your power and are robed with Strength. Remind us Lord when we become distracted and rushed to receive answers. 

“I lift my eyes toward the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

Fix our eyes on you Jesus.

Seeds of Hope

  

Seeds of Hope

“The LORD God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he placed the man he had formed. The LORD God caused to grow out of the ground , pleasing in appearance and good for food, including the tree of life in the middle of the garden, as well as the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” Genesis 2:8-9

From the beginning satan planted seeds of doubt. That tree was to remind them they weren’t God. They were responsible to God and everything they would ever need would be provided through Him. The enemy always goes after the character of God. His job is to choke out the word in us so that we don’t become fruitful. He distracts us, has us put everything above God, and tells us prayer and dependence upon God isn’t necessary. And boy do we take the bait over and over. My goal isn’t to become God. 

I heard recently that the Bible is our turn to experience the world. Knowing that Christ is all I need but living that out are two completely different things. Having that knowledge won’t lead me to understand my allegiance belongs to God only, it is when I understand that I was made to live a life of freedom. That my source of freedom comes from the Living Spirit within me leading me and guiding me. 

“The one who believes in me, as the Scripture has said, will have streams of living water flow from deep within them.” John 7:38

“God sometimes asks us to do things that make no sense on paper-but those acts of obedience are often how we plant hope for the future.” David Campbell

I read the above words this morning along with, “God’s not done with us yet.” Jesus with us is the reason to keep choosing God. What he did for us was beyond our comprehension and sometimes not something we feel worthy of but his act of obedience gave us a hope beyond anything we could ever explain. Those streams of Living water within us can allow our roots to grow so deep that no matter we choose to believe those words for this world. Lord, we believe that you are not done with us yet. 

What would that seed planted look like? Around you? Around this world?

Father,

Sometimes we can’t wrap our brains around why you do the things you do but we can trust sometimes that isn’t for us to understand. The enemy wants us to feel defeated. He wants us to forget. He wants us to take our eyes off Jesus. 

“Then he showed me the river of the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the city’s main street. The tree of life was on each side of the river, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, producing its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree are for healing the nations, and there will be no longer be any curse.” Revelations 22:1-2

 We can’t escape the story from beginning to end of your Faithfulness. One day all will be said and done but until then continue to lead others to your love Jesus. You are the only Hope for this nation, Salvation is found in you alone. Restore us back to you Jesus. Only you can bring us Peace and Restoration.

Amen

Kingdom Heart

    

Kingdom Heart

“Listen closely, my God and hear. Open your eyes and see our desolations and city that bear your name. For we are not presenting our petitions before you based on our righteous acts but based on your abundant compassion.” Daniel 9:18

God is all knowing. 

In a time where kings were ruling and evil was rampant God was making a way. Those that were captured and taken to the foreign land of Babylon were looked at as the ones that God was punishing when really, they were being spared. They were being brought there so God could restore them. They had grown so far from what He had taught them that regrowth had to happen. 

“I will give them a new heart to know me that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God because they will return to me with all their heart.” Jeremiah 24:7

Has God ever moved you to a place that was foreign? Has He ever placed you somewhere when you wanted to just stay? 

Leading worship with my husband was a passion I had for close to 17 years. I can remember the days of doing duets with him and practicing in the kitchen together. The girls were little back then and sometimes they would sing along. It seems like yesterday even though it was many years ago. We discovered something that we could do together alongside one another that carried us through difficult times, diagnosis, and raising girls. But at some point, I knew the Lord was asking me to lay that down. “Step down off that stage.” That was what I felt one Sunday, and I knew it would be the last. I never thought that Eric would continue on until it happened. And it was such an uneasy and uncomfortable feeling and all I knew but also knew it was something the Lord was making clear. People prayed for me. Things began to shift. As I prayed where the next place to serve was, I stepped into another leadership position that has become my ministry. I get to sit in the congregation and lead worship. And I get to lead worship with middle schoolers and writing and sharing my life.  A foreign land has become a peaceful place I have come to know. And the bonus is a blessing of still getting to sing with Eric in choir. Because God always does beyond our comprehension what He is able to do when we surrender and trust. 

So why do I forget? Because here I am in that same place of where He is doing something new once again. 

Lord, help me to remember it is all for you.

Father,

Give us Kingdom hearts. When you are moving us to places that we want to be restless about remind us that you are about whole hearted devotion. Things do change when we surrender and don’t hold onto those things. Help us get to the point of asking you to count us in on what you are doing. Our Kingdom hearts are so that others can know you Jesus. When you are shifting us and moving us that is the reminder to allow the Holy Spirit to lead us. Thank you that you care to use each one of us for your Kingdom glory Jesus. Heaven on earth.